how to surprise a girl who pays attention to everything

Step 1: Talk about marriage and kids, but never give any specific timeline.

Step 2: Go ring shopping. Identify Jaclyn’s favorite ring, but then remind her not to get too attached to one ring.

Step 3: Don’t bring up rings again for a long time. If Jaclyn brings them up, say you haven’t had time to look into it. She knows how thorough you like your research to be.

Step 4: When Jaclyn brings up getting engaged, don’t reply with any specific details.

Step 5: Send Jaclyn to a jeweler and let her keep ring shopping.

Step 6: All the while, be making plans and buy Jaclyn’s favorite ring. Wait for over seven weeks for the perfect diamond to be cut in India, sent to Hawaii for initial inspection, then appraised in New York, be sent back to Hawaii to finally make the ring, and pick it up in California.

Step 7: Ask Jaclyn’s dad without Jaclyn catching on that you are going to see him.

Step 8: Ask Jaclyn if she wants to go to lunch in Carmel and plan to tour Robinson Jeffers’ house.

Step 9: Keep Jaclyn from leaning against your coat pocket and from noticing that silly tour guide winking so often at you.

Step 10: Ask that once-in-a-lifetime question and watch Jaclyn make that face that apparently all girls make when they are being proposed to.