Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Re: Your Reaction

I wrote my post on people pleasing at the end of a July workday while still at the office. It was something I was randomly musing on, so I jotted down a few thoughts never thinking that people would really say much about it. It was one of those posts that you write more for you than for anyone else, and yet I have had more people seek me out about that post than any other.

You have asked what event or series of events spurred the realization or what has changed. You have asked how I’ve arrived at this point or you have affirmed and agreed that reaching this point is a great place to be.

Like I said before, it’s no one singular event nor is it even easy to explain. I don’t know that even in an extended conversation that I could fully articulate my current life views. I just know that I am finally at a place where I feel like I’m living for me. So many of my decisions and life choices have been motivated by what is best for someone else – and while it is imperative to take care of other people, it’s also critical to take care of yourself. That cliché that you can’t help others unless you help yourself is a cliché for a reason.

Are things perfect now that I am feeling more liberated and more free? Of course not. I still have issues to work out just like everyone else, but I feel more capable. I feel more at peace. And that feeling is all a girl can ask for.

As my brother would say, “call me, we’ll do lunch” if you still want to talk this out. I’m totally interested on how others have reached this point or why you think you haven’t reached this point. In that case, I’ll call you. I’d love to catch up. Ciao for now.


I turned 27 this month, and for the first time in a couple years, I actually think this is going to be a great year. When I turned 25, I felt like I had come of age – that I could finally do what I wanted to do. I had nothing to prove because I was a certified adult. Tracy and I even adopted that mantra that occasionally included, “Shut up. I’m 25.” It’s taken me two years though or more accurately my whole life to feel like my own person – to feel like I might just be able to do all those things that I dream about. This summer, I finally asked myself, “what am I waiting for?” And the resounding answer is nothing. I am not waiting for anything. This doesn’t mean that I am maxing out credit cards to get on a plane and move to London. But it does mean that I am not going to be content with just existing. I am going to live and live louder – I won't be content to just to blend in, but rather I am going to make things happen. Not sure how that adopted mentality fits into the chaos of grad school, but somehow I’ll make it work….

Friday, August 27, 2010

Dear Justin--


You have been on my mind every day for the past couple weeks.  Everywhere I went while I visited the Bay Area, someone (teachers included) was talking about you - the impact you had on anyone you met, your passion for people and ideas, the way you could sidetrack a class faster than any other student (hello 6th period junior English), and how much you will be missed by everyone. There will never be anyone like you again, and I feel so lucky to be one of the many people who knew you. You truly made me a better person. I can't imagine you sitting still for eternity, so have a kick-ass time doing whatever you're doing. We'll catch you on the other side. Can't wait to see you. Thanks for everything.

Miss Hutchins

Justin Joseph De Young 3.7.1991 - 8.15.2010

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Final Tour

My final tour of Provo has officially begun - one more year of school, weekly drives to Sundance, DVR watching with Jewels, and looking up at Timp while I go to sleep at night. The dust of moving has not completely settled, so stay tuned. Hope you're relishing the end of summer, the beginning of fall, and everything in-between....

Thursday, August 12, 2010


This summer has been the best of my life, and what better way to wrap up summer than to spend a long weekend in Tahoe. See you on the beach or on the trail. Dinner is T's at 6. Don't be late!

Monday, August 9, 2010


i love today's date. the end.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Happy as a Lark

I have no clue where the phrase "happy as a lark" comes from, but I thought of it as I arrived at my parents' on Lark Place. I'm sad to have left Los Angeles, but it's always wonderful to drive under those familiar oak trees and see my house appear around the corner. I love being home and most especially having Jenessa right down the hall. Somehow when I'm here, everything seems right in the world - my own little sanctuary. My two weeks of pure, blissful nothingness are here....

*Note to Jewels* It's not completely right because you're not here, but two weeks from now, we will be eating Kneaders' sandwiches and watching Mae run in circles around your family room. Looking forward to it!