Rambling from 32,000 feet

There are all sorts of fliers – the sleepers, the readers, the serene-chatting parents, the frazzled-“ripping through a baby bag” parents, the gabbers, the “two beers and a Monster” imbibers – and then there’s me sitting here at 32,000 feet hoping that I get to put my feet on solid ground again. I logically know that I will be just fine, but there’s something about seeing the mountains appear small that sets me on edge.  No doubt it’s the lack of control tinged with too many viewings of the planes hitting the Twin Towers….I have to admit though that I do love watching the sun set from the air – being above the cloud layer, seeing the water sparkle in the sunshine, and knowing that I am winging my way towards exciting adventures and people I love.

ps. More about my most recent adventure soon. And of course, double heart the rest of J³ and the boys.

Bits & Pieces, Les Mis Style

I love going through my leftover bits and pieces whether it be the bits and pieces of fabric or scrapbook paper or magazine dreams of what might be. The following is a few bits and pieces of what’s been on my radar lately – most of it is trivial and unnecessary, but it’s the bits and pieces that make things worthwhile, interesting, or somewhere in between.

*In the last few concerts of his last tour, David Archuleta sang a few “less conventional” songs including the primary song “I’m trying to be like Jesus” – it’s perfectly beautiful. I’m still holding out for the day that David either makes a church cd or sings the role of Les Miserables’ Marius. His voice is perfect for both.

*On a different musical note, Ricky Martin was recently on Glee. I used to love dancing around to his cd and singing at the top of my lungs in my car. Ironically Ricky Martin played the role of Marius in Les Mis. I don’t think that was a good idea.

*I heard in a recent NPR news story that there are only 1900 independent bookstores in the country – that’s half of what existed ten years ago. I know that I spend most of my book money on Amazon or at Barnes & Noble, but I can’t imagine not having those quiet little bookstores to go to.  For the record, both independent book stores, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble carry Les Miserables.

*I recently found myself home early on a Saturday night. No one was home, so I had a fire going and blared the 10^th Anniversary performance of Les Miserables. It was amazing.

*Les Mis is coming out in a movie musical format. I can’t say I’m not excited, but I’m also a bit nervous about some of the casting. Hugh Jackman will play Val Jean. Russell Crowe will play Javier (have you ever heard him sing???). Anne Hathaway will play Fantine. Fingers crossed that it’s wonderful.

*I know you’ve heard enough about it, but I still can’t believe Whitney Houston died. She is part of my childhood soundtrack. Her ballads were some of the first I learned. Her “Queen of the Night” was my first rebellion song (not that I would have called it that as a kid). I got ready time and time again with Hillary when we were in the dorms while singing “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”. There’s not a party or date that I don’t get ready listening to that song still. For the record, Whitney Houston was never associated with a Les Mis production.

*The other day I checked my bank account online four times in a couple of hours as if the numbers would have changed. I hope there’s money enough in there to justify purchasing Les Mis tickets for when the show comes to San Francisco this summer.

*Rick Santorum called public schools factories on Saturday. I strongly dislike him (to put it mildly). He would be a corrupt government official if I were to cast him in Les Mis.

*I filed my taxes already.  I truly am an accountant’s daughter. My dad, just in case you were wondering, took me on a daddy-daughter date to see Les Mis when I was seven. It changed my life.

Ps. I originally had no intention of making Les Mis a focal point of this bits and pieces blog, but once I saw the connection between David and Ricky, I could not help myself.  Plus I thought I should talk about a different obsession than Downton Abbey for a brief minute so that you wouldn’t think that’s all I talk about.

self-made box

It’s not very often that a) I find myself on my personal laptop before noon on a weekday(I’m usually left to the archaic computers at school) and b) that I bring my computer to public spaces. But here I am doing both of those unusual things...at a Panera no less....

Oddly enough I don’t know what to say about the last couple weeks that would make sense of the experience. So many highs and lows – and in the middle of it all, I find myself unsure of how to proceed…where to go next…how to sort out the jumble in my head. And because I can’t figure it out, I distract myself with Downton Abbey and other such nonsense. Don’t get me wrong, I am in love with my distractions (already established I know – I promise I won’t go on and on again about the obsession that is Matthew Crawley and the whole Downton bunch)….but they are just that – distractions. They do not aid me in making sense of my days or help me sleep at night.

Even in my explanation of my general inability to sort out life, I am incoherent. The short sum of all my thoughts is that I am unsatisfied with who I am. This is not some plea for affirmation – I do not think that I am inadequate, inferior, or any other of those complexes that seem to plague so many people. I am probably too self-assured for my own good. Rather I think that I have become complacent. I think that I have worked so hard to not care what other people think or to not care about meeting expectations other than my own, that I ended up lowering the bar.

Remember that fantastic quote that became cliché it was repeated so often of “Who are you not to be?” I think in some part I created a box for myself – I am a teacher, a this or a that. I am interested in these things. I believe in the following…. And then I closed the lid of the box and started living within its confines. And just because I don’t know what is outside that box doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t go find out.

Like I said, I don’t know what “finding out” means exactly, but I know I’ve got to figure it out. I can’t live like this forever.

You (yes you) and Downton Abbey

 The question of the day is have you watched Downton Abbey?  The correct answer should be "of course I have Jaclyn - how could I not watch it and still be your friend?"  That said, I know some of you are busy with jobs, husbands (wives), kids, etc, etc. Those excuses, I promise, are not worth it. I didn't start Downton until December.  I was sure it wouldn't matter if I put it off for a few months. After all, it was a new semester, I was in the middle of my Grey's obsession. How could I possibly start a new show?  The real question though is how could I not?

Enough of the gushing rhetoric - here's the dish - I LOVE this show. I think about it on the way to work. I think about it when a kid is asking for the sixth time what we are going to do in class that day. I think about it when my therapist tells me not to think of anything (okay - not really...I'm not in therapy but if I were). I think about it when I am trying to tell myself to get a grip. It's just a TV SHOW....and then I talk to someone like Mel, Maria, my mom, Julie, Katie, Jennica, my coworkers, etc, etc and what little grip I had is gone.  

If you still need some convincing or you think I really need therapy, feel free to call. I promise to at least mute the show while we're talking. Cheers!

ps. I know, I know - dramatic much?  But let's be honest. We just made it through January without much ado thanks to the distraction of the upstairs and downstairs of Downton Abbey...and, of course, Mary & Matthew.....

The Lucky One

I know I say this a lot, but I really mean it this time - Don't judge me. I needed fluff and a promise of sappy love, melodrama, and a promise of a movie with delectable man candy in it. This book was not brilliant, innovative, or anything that truly remarkable fiction should be...but it was exactly what needed - an escape. And let's be honest, I can't wait to see the movie in April....