Monday, October 13, 2008

Jumbled Mind:Me::Coherent Post: ???

Have I ever told you that I like analogies? I like analogies on tests (even if they are not my strongest section). I like analogies in literature. I like sport analogies given by insanely passionate coaches. I like analogies for life from...

Except that not all analogies make sense - I am a girl profoundly rooted in the things that I know. The list of the things I know has seemed tragically small lately. Tragic is a dramatic word choice, but the choice is intentional. I don't know how Obama or McCain is going to lead this country if elected. I don't know how anyone could have summed up Sarah Palin better than Matt Damon when he said the idea of her being president is like a bad Disney movie (sorry Palin fans - this one rings true for me). I don't know how I'm supposed to do well on a test where I can't skip the questions I don't like (hello, GRE is tomorrow folks! Can we say I think I'd actually rather be at work?). I don't know how to combat the unknowns in life (ie the timetable for Mr. Right to wander into my life, where I'm supposed to be next year, if I go to grad school, where, what specific degree should I seek, etc, etc) since I'm a girl who likes to have something that resembles a plan. I don't know how the kids I teach are going to make good choices when their peers and their own insecurities drown their good sense and lure them towards things they intrinsically know are wrong....

And yet, this past Friday I was reminded of one thing that I do know more perhaps than I know anything else. I was talking to my dear friend Hillary about one of the hardest things we've had to grapple with lately (a friend whose personal choices are having a terrible affect on his life and future) and feeling bleak as our discussion of the "hows" and "whys" of the situation yielded few concrete answers. As our conversation was coming to a close, I told her how this was one of those situations in my life where as Brooke Constable would say we have to "Let go, let God." And I felt sure that God knew exactly the battle our friend was having. God knew the battle Hillary and I were having over trying to understand our friend and trying to understand a God whose plan included so many options for unhappiness when the real goal is joy.

I don't know many things, but I do know God knows us and loves us more than we can possibly know. And though I lack answers and direction in my life that may seem or actually be critical, I know that He knows where we are all supposed to be. If we put our faith in Him, He will guide us. He always does. And let's be honest, if that some of guidance includes whether to mark choice B or choice D tomorrow on the analogy section, I would be the last to complain.

1 comment:

forget laundry said...

I can honestly say I didn't feel peace about this confusing situation until I talked with you. Somehow you do it every time. But this time, more needed than most.
Amidst all the heartache, I must say it has strengthened my desire to be better and overwhelmed me with gratitude to Heavenly Father for a plan, for obedience and a goal. I am so happy because I try to live this gospel and teach my children. It is everything, without it I would crumble. You know that. One day our dear friend will remember that. And thank heaven for that knowledge. Heavenly Father is in charge and He loves us all. Church was filled last Sunday with all the good stuff I needed to hear and that alone is proof that He is aware of me. I love you sweet friend.