I wrote my post on people pleasing at the end of a July workday while still at the office. It was something I was randomly musing on, so I jotted down a few thoughts never thinking that people would really say much about it. It was one of those posts that you write more for you than for anyone else, and yet I have had more people seek me out about that post than any other.
You have asked what event or series of events spurred the realization or what has changed. You have asked how I’ve arrived at this point or you have affirmed and agreed that reaching this point is a great place to be.
Like I said before, it’s no one singular event nor is it even easy to explain. I don’t know that even in an extended conversation that I could fully articulate my current life views. I just know that I am finally at a place where I feel like I’m living for me. So many of my decisions and life choices have been motivated by what is best for someone else – and while it is imperative to take care of other people, it’s also critical to take care of yourself. That cliché that you can’t help others unless you help yourself is a cliché for a reason.
Are things perfect now that I am feeling more liberated and more free? Of course not. I still have issues to work out just like everyone else, but I feel more capable. I feel more at peace. And that feeling is all a girl can ask for.
As my brother would say, “call me, we’ll do lunch” if you still want to talk this out. I’m totally interested on how others have reached this point or why you think you haven’t reached this point. In that case, I’ll call you. I’d love to catch up. Ciao for now.
3 comments:
For me, it was realizing that by trying to keep the peace, and please others, I was losing myself. And, more than that, I was allowing others to dictate my destiny. Peer pressure is an incredibly insidious thing; I would be upset by something (like a person trying to kill my cat), and it would seem so normal and right to me that I was upset, and then other people in my life would blame me. Hearing how horrible I was all the time, and what a disappointment I was, really hurt my self esteem. Eventually I just couldn't take it anymore. Oddly enough, it was hitting this rock bottom of sorts that led me to what should've been an obvious realization: whether other people agreed with me or not, I had the right to be my own person.
Love your attitude. I need to adopt that. I just might take your cue. And I love your quote from your last post, "Shut up. I'm 25." Made me laugh out loud. Love that.
Notice in my last comment, I might have just said the word "love" three times. Wow, I need to get some sleep.
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