Sometimes...

Sometimes...
...I don't blog because I don't have anything positive to say and someone, who was probably on Valium, said if you didn't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all
...I don't answer my phone because I'm afraid the gap between what I'm saying and what I really think will be bridged by something that people don't really want to know
...I throw my Diet Pepsi cans away in different garbage cans to disguise how many I've had that week
...I think that I'll never figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life and it scares the hell out of me
...I love using the word hell
...I dream of writing something brilliant - a book, a movie, a play - and having it speak to people the way other great works have spoken to me
...I wonder if I have lost pieces of myself, but I don't know where to start looking for those lost pieces
...I lay in bed and imagine just picking up and moving to Europe and then I fall asleep and oddly enough, dream of California
...I say more than I should when it doesn't really matter and don't say enough when things matter the most
...I feel like I'm a character in someone else's story and wonder when I'll get to have my own

[Melodramatic Anon. - party of one >>> musings are unrelated to the holidays >>> Christmas was actually quite delightful. Bye for now.]