Monday, January 31, 2011

Afternoon Reprieve

In an early episode of Gilmore Girls, Lorelai asks Rory how her day has been. Rory responds with, “I have now used the word sucks so many times that it has lost all meaning.” Today feels like one of those days. Throw in the feeling of having competing desires to be surrounded by people you love with the desire to be left alone and you have a perfectly confused state of mind.

I went through my morning working feverishly on the things I had disregarded for days hoping that the sense of normalcy would snap me out of my funk. No luck. My PB&J helped a little. Going to accounting class pushed me over a dangerous edge. Talking to people on the phone only solidified my discontent. And so my car instinctively beat a path towards Provo Canyon. With a “Happy Hour” Diet Coke at my side, I am sitting in one of Sundance’s main buildings trying to calm my anxious heart down before heading back down the mountain.

I’m not sure that it will work, but for the moment, life feels better. Hope is restored. And the dreaded world of debits, credits, and my job hunt seems light years away. Fingers crossed that the world “sucks” a little less when I’m back in my room pouring over Clippers files and student work.

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